The math of beginning

Here's the math of a first week:
1st week of school + only a few kids (three at most) = very few displays of extreme emotion /behavior issues

It's easy math, the sort that I like a lot. There were  a few moments of taking away toys, but the problems were actually solved very easily with an explanation of that “it makes your friend sad when you take her toy away…you need to ask first“. One two-year-old in particular, was good at just saying “ok” and going and giving the toy back.  There was the moment when a child did not want to join the group music time. She was playing with a tractor and was not willing to stop. She actually gave me a little chase. I  did not want to chase her though. So I gave her two choices.: Come to the carpet without the tractor or come with the tractor. She came with the tractor and soon became in engaged with the group activity.  This is our main goal, right?  The tractor even got a little dancing in.

Another teacher asked later what my philosophy is on how much we try to get kids to follow instructions. I’m not sure I completely know the answer to that. I told her that there is a certain point they do need to learn to follow instructions--there are times in life that their safety depends on following the instructions of an adult.  However, they should probably spend more time being able to choose, rather having to following directions. So we certainly can give them simple instructions to follow--and expect them to follow them. But the majority of the time we should give them choices.

Waiting by the edge of the carpet for a tumbling turn

Joy

Our goal should never really be to control them. If our goal is crowd control--give them two choices:  You can either sit on the edge of the carpet or stand at the edge of the carpet. Not that that’s going to necessarily get the child to be still on the edge of the carpet every time. But it turns it from being a control issue. Throwing in silly choices probably increases the likelihood of the the children actually choosing one of the things you offer them.  Like--You can wait on the edge of the carpet like a pirate chewing gum or like a blow fish.



Now, I’ve had plenty of control wars with children.. I am no expert-- this is my journey: I
want to keep children safe. Always. I want children to be joyful, to be challenged to higher heights and deeper depths. I want them to be who they are meant to be. I do not want to be manipulated by them. But neither do I want to manipulate them.  I want them to be respectful. I want them to feel at peace. And I want to feel at peace. (And I do not feel at peace when I’m chasing a child around the room trying to get the tractor from her).

I know that the math of preschool emotions is going to get increasingly more complicated. Hopefully, it will just never become logarithms or quadratic equations. At least not until I'm a bit more proficient in the math of emotions.