Potty Words

"I'm going to tell Ms. Sara!" I heard from across the room. Seconds later a two and a half year-old was at my side.

"My friend said a bathroom word." 

Now this is no new event to the world of early childhood. Bathroom words are frequently used across the spectrum--from expressions of anger to complete and utter silliness.

"Go tell her you do not like hearing those words and that are only to be used in the bathroom."  I told this child. She ran off, content to oblige.

A moment later she and two of her friends walked by me pushing a stroller with a seemingly purposeful destination. I waved at them and smiled.

"Where are you off to?" I asked.

One of them replied matter-of-factly, "To the bathroom to say potty words."

Sure enough they veered to the bathroom and soon I heard,  "Poopy, poopy, poopy!"  They emerged again and walked back to the dramatic play area, apparently their souls were now relieved of a burning desire.

What the world needs

 

With all this talk about the debt ceiling debates, negotiations, compromising and not compromising, I've realized just how extremely important my work is. Because the biggest part of my work is social problem-solving. Or rather helping children solve there social problems. 

When I see a skiff happening...generally over a toy. I first go and point out to the children what is happening.  "You both want this toy, that's a problem."  I usually don't know who had it first so I don't solve it for them by sending the one who wants it away mad. Neither do I insist that they one who claims to have had it first, share it.  

Instead, I ask them to think of what we can do to make both parties happy. I tell them they need to think of ideas.  For 3-4 minutes I get a lot of I-WANT-ITs, sometimes some stomping off, lots of yanking for the toy, which I've most likely confiscated into my hands by then.  

I keep insisting that they think of ideas. They eventually start coming up with some, usually start off with "I'll play with the toy and then him."  I ask the other child if he likes that idea and usually he doesn't. Then I ask him, and he'll say something similar.  

More ideas start coming, some more creative than others. I'll take ideas from bystanders. Sometimes I offer a few. I always ask both parties if they like the idea, if they don't, I tell them they need to keep thinking. 

As you can imagine, this process can be tedious and seem like we're hitting a brick wall over and over. The kids often want to give up--but if I ask them if I can give the toy to the other, they'll usually come back .If they don't, I declare the problem solved.  

Almost always, though, the two children think of an idea that brings a big smile to both of their faces--and mine!  Sometimes it's a use the toy together idea, sometimes one finds another toy as a desirable substitute. Whatever the solution, it is always empowering. I make a huge deal over the fact that they solved the problem themselves.  

The other day the disagreement was actually over a person. Two children wanted the same third child to push their cars.  Their solution--tie the cars together and he could push them both.  

The world needs some good problem-solvers. I hope I'm creating some. (Along with some elephants playing piano).

Our "puppet-tree"

 

I've been very curious about how to connect our focus on the arts with a focus on healthy social and emotional development.  It's something that happens in other programs too, I'm not saying we're all that revolutionary with it. Still...social emotional development and the arts are things that quickly get swept under the rug when in light of "school readiness" and academic focuses such as literacy, math, etc. (Not that those things are wrong to work at, they just tend to overshadow other important areas of development. Plus we generally teach those traditionally school-ish disciplines in an inappropriate way for young children. Worksheets, for example.) 

We started using our tree for puppet shows. Our first few shows I had the volunteer theater student ad lib a little scenario about hitting. We've really been trying to focus on getting the children to solve their problems through expressing themselves in words and negotiating rather than physical aggression. It's a tough one...imagine that. After the show by the volunteer, we let the kids go one at a time and give their own show. It is mostly a regurgitation of what they've just seen. But I think something really important happens with it. If they're making the puppets hit each other and then react to each other, they're able to take on another's perspective--a very important skill. And one of the biggest reason acting, puppets, and well, sociodramatic play (such as playing house) are so, so important for young children. 

Dinosaurs

I have to admit, I feel a bit dinosaurish myself this evening--long days make me want to growl and stomp, often in search of food. :)  Kids have this epic fascination with dinosaurs. One of my favorite activities this week was creating a volcano. We haven't done actual explosion yet (I'm going to go put vinegar where I'll remember it tomorrow). There was much more, I realized, as is common among people who begin to broach a subject of interest, to learn and it peaks my interest even more in this project approach. I have the idea of it lurking in my head, but I just don't know how to get it rolling. I just need to do some serious experimentation.

These are dinosaur eggs--sand, water, coffee grounds, salt, and flour that I hid something in and then hardened. I hid them around the room and then let the kids use tweezers (they were still pretty soft), to excavate.  

Camping

Singing around the campfire with Mr. Michael, a parent volunteer

 For the last few weeks of May there were a few kids who kept playing camping--they'd pack they're bags, load up the stroller and go set up camp in the play house. They would make fires and make s'mores (skewers with cotton balls on the end), take showers in the shower house, and go fishing. So we decided to take the play a bit further. We went on a field trip to a state park where we were able to go hiking, fishing (for real!), and make s'mores over a fire. Yumminess for all our senses!

Feeding the fish bread while waiting for a fishing pole to be baited

This is why we love fishing

Music group around the campfire with Ms. Jamie

Practicing writing

Superman warming himself at the fire

Hiking at Green Brier State Park

Swirling

I opened this blog with the intent to reflect on practice, particularly when it comes to guiding children in the social emotional development of their lives. I also want it to be a place where parents can come and peek into the window of our preschool days. I'm going to have to pop back and forth from sharing the fun activities we do and doing some reflection, which can get a little real and messy. Bear with me...

Wow, it's huge--this issue of social and emotional development. I wish I could just pop out wisdom with confidence and wit.  Mostly I just have all these questions swirling around in my head...

When do a child's violent actions (such as hitting, kicking, biting, choking, screaming, pushing) turn from social mistakes to intentional "mean-ness?"  
 It is so easy for adults to look at children's violent actions as being mean. Recently in life though, I've been presented with the idea that children are mostly just making mistakes. However, is there a point when they (preschoolers) make a conscious decision to do some they know will harm another? If so...
What should the consequences of social mistakes be?  What should the consequences of intentional "mean-ness" be? 
Time-outs? Redirection. Having something you want taken away from you? I try to make sure that consequences are natural ones....if you're hitting another child with a paper towel tube, the paper towel tube is removed. That's not always very easy though. Should we physically remove a resisting child from a situation?

Should "good" behavior be rewarded with tangible incentives (stickers, lollipops, etc.)?  How do such rewards affect a child's inner motivation? 
Traditionally, we've used sticker charts and rewards to get children to do what we want them to? And a lot of the time it works. Does that justify its use? What is the child's motivation to truly learn then? I would rather have children seek learning opportunities because they find it wonderful. Children wonder and marvel more than any adult I know. Is it really that difficult for me to just find things that they can find interesting enough to seek out?

How early in life should a child be expected to be a part of a group learning time? a.k.a. circle time.
Some early childhood professionals for whom I have the utmost respect suggest that circle times are should not be mandatory. This wrinkles the brow of many, many a preschool teacher. How will they learn to sit still for school? They'll miss so much. We have to be consistent. Most of us preschool teachers--me included--have a fetish for a circle of criss-cross applesauce-hands-in-your-lap-mouths shut! little boys and girls.   Then we can show them the glory of the world, of Eric Carle, dinosaur fossils, and how to recite a poem about shapes.  But, but, but....are they really ready, willing and able? Are we crushing a curiosity to explore? Is there harm in the desire to take a toy off the shelf and delve into a world of imagination? When do kids HAVE to listen to adults? Well, for sure when their safety is in danger. And will they not be able to do that if we've not been able to get them to sit and listen at circle time. How is my own curriculum and planning affecting their compliance?  
That's the question I'm going leave with this evening. 

Stroller-fixing, World-fixing

1. Child A donned a favorite superman cape and golden sparkly hat and set off pushing a stroller rapidly around the room. What great feats the were about to happen, we will never know.

2. Child B came from behind and tore the cape from Child A's shoulders.

3. Child A exploded into a whirlwind of frustration and anger. Words could not be formed, only a shriek. Then the stroller was lifted from the ground and banged onto the floor. The front wheel popped off. 

I watched it happen. Do I reprimand the breaking the stroller? What of Child B, running to the other side of the classroom...now being chased by Child A, who grabbed the cape and started yanking with great might?

4. I intervened.  "Child A, use your words to tell Child B that you are angry. That you would like the cape back."   He did so.

5. Child B bolted with the cape. 

6. I followed. Child B stomped off and started to quietly cry.

7. "Child B, you made Child A very sad." A short dialogue ensued, and eventually, somehow, Child B willingly took the cape to Child A.

8. Child B and I walked by the broken stroller. I explained about three times the events. You took the cape, Child A got angry and broke the stroller. Now we do not have a stroller.

9. I suggested to Child B that we fix the stroller. He got the toolbox and set to work. Soon, two other children joined him.

A happy, cooperative ending to a high stress situation... 

I find myself able to approach these sorts of situations, which are rather frequent in any place more than one child abides, with more calm these days.  It's not my job to make it right as quickly as possible. But I do need to give them some tools to deal with what happens, with those monsters that tear out when someone removes your super-hero powers from your shoulders. Or what to do with the monster that makes you want to grab it in the first place and then lingers behind, changing form when you see that you've actually made someone very, very upset.

I mean, how many adults have an appropriate reaction when someone comes and yanks away our "power"--real and imagined?  We kick and scream every time. It's just that most of us can keep it inside. We've learned to control ourselves. Kids are more real that way. And frankly, I think it's okay to keep the "real" part of it.  Emotions are real and so are problems...why not figure out ways to help kids deal with these?