Stroller-fixing, World-fixing

1. Child A donned a favorite superman cape and golden sparkly hat and set off pushing a stroller rapidly around the room. What great feats the were about to happen, we will never know.

2. Child B came from behind and tore the cape from Child A's shoulders.

3. Child A exploded into a whirlwind of frustration and anger. Words could not be formed, only a shriek. Then the stroller was lifted from the ground and banged onto the floor. The front wheel popped off. 

I watched it happen. Do I reprimand the breaking the stroller? What of Child B, running to the other side of the classroom...now being chased by Child A, who grabbed the cape and started yanking with great might?

4. I intervened.  "Child A, use your words to tell Child B that you are angry. That you would like the cape back."   He did so.

5. Child B bolted with the cape. 

6. I followed. Child B stomped off and started to quietly cry.

7. "Child B, you made Child A very sad." A short dialogue ensued, and eventually, somehow, Child B willingly took the cape to Child A.

8. Child B and I walked by the broken stroller. I explained about three times the events. You took the cape, Child A got angry and broke the stroller. Now we do not have a stroller.

9. I suggested to Child B that we fix the stroller. He got the toolbox and set to work. Soon, two other children joined him.

A happy, cooperative ending to a high stress situation... 

I find myself able to approach these sorts of situations, which are rather frequent in any place more than one child abides, with more calm these days.  It's not my job to make it right as quickly as possible. But I do need to give them some tools to deal with what happens, with those monsters that tear out when someone removes your super-hero powers from your shoulders. Or what to do with the monster that makes you want to grab it in the first place and then lingers behind, changing form when you see that you've actually made someone very, very upset.

I mean, how many adults have an appropriate reaction when someone comes and yanks away our "power"--real and imagined?  We kick and scream every time. It's just that most of us can keep it inside. We've learned to control ourselves. Kids are more real that way. And frankly, I think it's okay to keep the "real" part of it.  Emotions are real and so are problems...why not figure out ways to help kids deal with these?