Swirling

I opened this blog with the intent to reflect on practice, particularly when it comes to guiding children in the social emotional development of their lives. I also want it to be a place where parents can come and peek into the window of our preschool days. I'm going to have to pop back and forth from sharing the fun activities we do and doing some reflection, which can get a little real and messy. Bear with me...

Wow, it's huge--this issue of social and emotional development. I wish I could just pop out wisdom with confidence and wit.  Mostly I just have all these questions swirling around in my head...

When do a child's violent actions (such as hitting, kicking, biting, choking, screaming, pushing) turn from social mistakes to intentional "mean-ness?"  
 It is so easy for adults to look at children's violent actions as being mean. Recently in life though, I've been presented with the idea that children are mostly just making mistakes. However, is there a point when they (preschoolers) make a conscious decision to do some they know will harm another? If so...
What should the consequences of social mistakes be?  What should the consequences of intentional "mean-ness" be? 
Time-outs? Redirection. Having something you want taken away from you? I try to make sure that consequences are natural ones....if you're hitting another child with a paper towel tube, the paper towel tube is removed. That's not always very easy though. Should we physically remove a resisting child from a situation?

Should "good" behavior be rewarded with tangible incentives (stickers, lollipops, etc.)?  How do such rewards affect a child's inner motivation? 
Traditionally, we've used sticker charts and rewards to get children to do what we want them to? And a lot of the time it works. Does that justify its use? What is the child's motivation to truly learn then? I would rather have children seek learning opportunities because they find it wonderful. Children wonder and marvel more than any adult I know. Is it really that difficult for me to just find things that they can find interesting enough to seek out?

How early in life should a child be expected to be a part of a group learning time? a.k.a. circle time.
Some early childhood professionals for whom I have the utmost respect suggest that circle times are should not be mandatory. This wrinkles the brow of many, many a preschool teacher. How will they learn to sit still for school? They'll miss so much. We have to be consistent. Most of us preschool teachers--me included--have a fetish for a circle of criss-cross applesauce-hands-in-your-lap-mouths shut! little boys and girls.   Then we can show them the glory of the world, of Eric Carle, dinosaur fossils, and how to recite a poem about shapes.  But, but, but....are they really ready, willing and able? Are we crushing a curiosity to explore? Is there harm in the desire to take a toy off the shelf and delve into a world of imagination? When do kids HAVE to listen to adults? Well, for sure when their safety is in danger. And will they not be able to do that if we've not been able to get them to sit and listen at circle time. How is my own curriculum and planning affecting their compliance?  
That's the question I'm going leave with this evening.